She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
