Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
