They should really pass out barf bags in church
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
