Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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