Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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