I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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