Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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