I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
