when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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