I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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