If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
