This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
