According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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