and she was petting her beer can
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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