Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
