Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
bring money and cleavage
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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