tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
