help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize