I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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