We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize