Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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