One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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