he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
