I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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