You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
