garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize