And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
