were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
