shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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