You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
