Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
