you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
