nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize