i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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