I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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