...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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