Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
