im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize