I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
worst night to have a conscience
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
