OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
