apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize