You made me cry and you don't even care
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
