you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
