Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
