We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
