i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
