You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Someone shit on the floor
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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