I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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