and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
