It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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