I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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