he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
