i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
