How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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