Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
