Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
