with your own penis?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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