I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
