your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
