i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
it was like eating out sand paper
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
