Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize