dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
