This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
