Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
