I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
